To consolidate, disseminate, and gather information concerning the 710 expansion into our San Rafael neighborhood and into our surrounding neighborhoods. If you have an item that you would like posted on this blog, please e-mail the item to Peggy Drouet at pdrouet@earthlink.net

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Los Angeles Reports 3,134,527 Car Accidents During Rainy Day (Satire)


December 15, 2014


The Los Angeles Department of Traffic reported over 3 million car accidents during one day of moderate rainfall yesterday when the area was hit with one inch of recorded precipitation.

With 16 million people in the  area, that accounts for 1 in 4 people, 25% the population, crashing in just a single day. This breaks the 1997 record when 22% of the people were in an accident after even lighter rain fall.

“The car crash rate was higher than our election voter turnout rate,” said traffic department head Darren Brown. “It is unbelievable. We were lucky to avoid any fatalities. Most were bumper to bumper incidents.”

A dozen car accidents occurred every second during the rainy day. The normal car accident occurs every six seconds, according to the department. Brown called it “Grand Theft Auto V multi-player street racing out there.”

“We just want to remind the people of Los Angeles that when it rains, the roads get wet. When the roads get wet, they become a little slippery.”
When It Rains, Insurance Pays
Insurance companies expect to pay out over $60 billion in damage claims because of the single day of rain. This will cause everyone's premiums to go up for the foreseeable future. Experts say a 50% increase is likely and a snow day would be Armageddon.

“That’s how insurance works,” said University of Southern California economics professor Adam Jazz. “It’s about pooling risk. Those who don’t file a claim help pay for the damage for those who do make a damage claim.”

California has the highest car insurance rates in the country. Millions of people fail to get coverage, which is mandated by state law, and the burden is placed on people who pay for the insurance.
Non-insured drivers also drive 10 times more when it rains, according to a fictitious study by Harvard University: “The insurance companies will have to raise everyone's premium. We expect many small insurance companies to go out of business or get bought by the bigger corporations.”

Insurance companies in Southern California have decided to no longer cover accidents caused by rain.

“We already deny flood damage for homes, so why not cars?” Allstate Insurance spokesman Ethan Carl said. “We don’t want to pay for three million car accidents every time it rains in L.A. God forbid it ever snows.”